Day 4 - Spiritual Battles

Being in ministry is hard. Just because Rick is the one who has the job does not mean that we aren't in this thing together. I don't get a paycheck for it or a fancy title, but I walk alongside Him in this calling that God has placed on both of our lives. In fact, in the cases of Africa and our adoption, God put those things on my heart first. This "job" that he has takes a toll on our family in so many ways. It can exhilarating and draining all at the same time. There is a burden that we carry as we minister to hurting people and try to defend the cause of the orphans and widows.

Whenever he travels for work, our family faces spiritual attack. It comes in many forms. Sometimes it is mechanical things that happen to our house or vehicle. Sometimes it is our health. Sometimes it is the children's behaviors. Sometimes it is an actual spiritual battle within me, one of the kids, or in Rick.

This week, so far, it is the latter two. My children have been really disobedient. Yesterday was one of Isaiah's hardest in a while. Today, it is the bigger kids doing things that we have discussed hundreds of times. We had a "come to Jesus meeting" in the truck this morning. Basically, I laid down the law, "You make wise choices, or the consequences will come." The consequences that I have chosen are severe. I am tired and weary and cannot be battling constantly over things that we have made very clear are unacceptable. They are fighting with each other, name calling, and wrestling and throwing things on the main level of our house. You get the picture.

Then there is the spiritual battle that goes on in my head. Satan knows my struggles and weaknesses, and let me tell you, he is working overtime to attack me in those areas. I feel like God wants to do something big in me and our family this year. I have no idea what that is, but obviously, that is the last thing that Satan wants. He speaks lies to me that I listen to when I am weak and vulnerable. He takes everything good about me and tears it down until I feel nothing but defeat. I can recognize this today, which is good. That helps me to fight back. I want to win this battle, but I am weary. I am beaten down by my kids' behavior, by the work of caring for them alone, by my lack of sleep, and by the sheer fact that my best friend and soulmate is on the other side of the world out of my reach.

So, there you have it. When I started this blog, I told you that I wanted it to be real. I don't want to just share about the rainbows and smiley faces of my life, but also the struggles. Today I am struggling. Tomorrow is a new day, and I pray it will be a better one.