Now What?!?!

As I look at this new year, I wonder what God has in store for me and for our family. Last year was the most amazing year of my life and the most excruciating all at the same time. We went through an adoption process at mach speed. Much better than waiting for years, but very hard to manage emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially. My body is feeling the effects of that. I have been sick since June. After many dr. visits and tests, it appears that my weight loss, nausea, fullness, etc. is a result of an allergic reaction aggravated by stress. I want to feel better.(Yes, Dr., I will just eliminate that stress from my life and it will be all better, thank you.)

We saw God do miracles last year. I could tell you all about them if you ever want to hear, but there are too many to recount here and they are too amazing to fully express in this form. I just need to say that I have never seen God work more clearly in my life. As a result, I am a different person than I was a year ago.

I spent the first 3 months of last year being the mom of 4 children in my home and fighting for my 2 children in Africa. The amount of paperwork, classes, appointments, phone calls, books and info I had to read, and money that we had to spend is beyond description. We spent 1 month of last year in Africa, apart from Lauren, Abby, and Sam all the while facing unbelievable circumstances. It was excruciatingly hard and overwhelming.

Upon arriving back in the U.S. on April 16th, we hit the ground running as a family of 8!! As Rick likes to say, "We are no longer just a family when we go out, we are a movement." You cannot miss us, and we will no longer be anonymous as we walk through life. I am okay with that. I signed up for that. I really enjoy the opportunity to share with others the story of our family.

These first 9 months with Isaiah and Laila have been really challenging. Don't get me wrong, the joy FAR outweighs the pain, but nothing great comes without a cost, and we have payed that cost this year. Our family has changed as well. I love to see my children interact with each other. Some of those interactions are quite explosive, but at the end of the day, they love each other and would do anything to defend and protect each other.

I have experienced a peace this Christmas like never before. I feel satisfied with my life and what God has done for me. Even in all of this, I am restless. Where do I go from here? How do I follow up a year like this year? What is next? Deep in my heart, I know that God is not finished with me and with our family. Honestly, I feel like this is only the beginning. I don't really have any resolutions this year. I call out to God and say,

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul Lord to you surrendered. All I am is Yours."