It makes me feel relaxed and peaceful and happy. That is what I want my home to be, a place of relaxation.
The last time it felt like that was when it was on the market, but even then, there was a stress element of not really being able to "live" in our house comfortably. Nevermind, it wasn't peaceful then either.
I remember in the earlier days of our marriage and even when we had a couple of kids being able to clean the whole house and have ALL clean at once.
That was so nice. That is my dream these days.
I am realizing that is impossible in my current situation.
I can work all day long, but while I am working there is a combination of 2-6 children somewhere else in the house messing it up.
I tell Rick they are sabotaging me. He reminds me that they are just being kids. Yeah, right, whatever!
For the last 2 weeks, I have been very diligent and purposeful in staying home, working on our house, spending time with my kids, and cooking.
Even though I have put in all this effort, I find myself constantly frustrated with the condition of our house.
As a result, I end my day feeling defeated and like all of my efforts are in vain.
I feel guilty for not doing enough. I feel discouraged that it is never done. I feel like a failure.
Enough of that!! That is no way to live. I am refusing to go there. If I go there without realizing it, I am not going to stay long.
I have a lot on my plate. I never give myself credit for what I accomplished or even take the time to enjoy my accomplishments.
It is always, "That is done, but look at all the other stuff I didn't do."
Remember that phrase I am saying each day, "What HAS to be done today?" Anything else should be a bonus that I feel proud for accomplishing.
Today my focus is Rick's and my bedroom and bathroom. I think it will take me most of the day to do it well.
When it is all done, I am going to bask in the cleanliness of it. Maybe I should just stay in there the rest of the day without any interruptions.
Then, I will not be bombarded with the messes around the rest of my house and the message they speak telling me I am not good enough.
Can anyone out there relate?