One of those days

I went to MOPs this morning. It was good to reconnect with other moms. It was good to have a break. I am excited about the year ahead as we journey together.

Isaiah has croup. Poor little guy. It is so obvious when he is sick because he is not his usual passionate little self.

Now that the little ones are down for their naps, and all is quiet in my house,(let me just stop right here and say, "Ahhh.") I am feeling burdened.

First of all, I am physically exhausted. I have had 4 nights of very little sleep.

I am emotionally exhausted. I am experiencing some really deep emotions lately. Some of it is personal, some of it is ministry related, some of it is relational, and, yes, I believe some of it is an attack from Satan. He wants God's people to be discouraged, and he knows how do to it very well in my life.

I am really asking God to reveal Himself in the midst of my life's circumstances, in my past, present, and future. It is in these times that I depend and lean on what He has done in my life in the past. It encourages me in the present and helps me look to the future.

I feel I am on the brink of some really big things. It is in this place that I find the most pain and fear, but, I refuse to stay there. I want to move beyond. I am clinging to the hope of God's plan for me to be revealed.

So, this afternoon, I will seek Him. I will read my Bible. I will pray. I will journal. Even if a huge revelation does not come to me in this time, I know that it is in these things where I will find my peace, hope, and strength.

The battle I am fighting right now feels very overwhelming. I have to trust in the fact that I am not fighting this battle alone. God is my defender, my protector, and my shield.