Balanced Living with a Bag of Oats

This post has been swirling around in my mind for a few days. I think it has been hard to write because I realize it could be taken the wrong way. I am going to share some things that God has shown me over the last few days. It doesn't mean I am pointing fingers at others, or that I think others should feel the same way. It is just something God wants me to consider as I live my life.

You see, I am a person of extremes. I really struggle with being balanced. I waver back and forth between various extremes. One day, I am convinced my house must be perfect. The next day, I give up and just let it go completely. One day, I am a cooking maniac. The next several I don't even turn on the stove. I really struggle to maintain balance in my life.

All of this can also apply to my calling to help people in Africa. I can really be extreme. So much so, that my family gets left in the cold. I believe, for me, I must have balance. After Rick's first trip to Africa, I was ready to sell everything. Why should I have so much when so many have so little. I couldn't eat out. I couldn't buy clothes. I started yelling at my kids for the wasted piece of toilet paper that they used. I was a mess, and it was extreme. Rick had to constantly tell me that I shouldn't feel guilty for my blessings.

Last year, the big project was our adoption. I put all of my energies into that. Every spare minute was spent filling out paperwork, gathering references, putting together photos, and completing a dossier. I ate, drank, and slept adoption. My dreams were filled with visions of my son and daughter miles away. Now that is complete. So, what is next? My calling to Africa does not end with adoption. If anything, now that we have 2 children from Africa in our family, I feel even more called to make a difference for all of the children that are still there.

Some days I feel overwhelmed by all that needs to be done through Beyond Survival. I feel like I am not giving this ministry the attention that it needs. I struggle with where to focus my energies on a daily basis.

What does this have to do with a bag of oats you might ask? Well, it has everything to do with a bag of oats. Our oldest son has Celiac disease. It all began for him 2 years ago. Here is a picture of him when he was sick, and we didn't know what was wrong. Cody, on the right is the sick boy. He may not look sick to you, but to me he looks very sick. He lost about 11 lbs. in less than a month, and he wasn't overweight to begin with. When I look at this picture I see bad coloring, weak eyes, and dark circles. It was really scary.

Switching him to a gluten free diet brought many challenges. It really complicated my cooking. I like to cook, but this made it much less enjoyable. Even more than the cooking challenges were the expenses. It is REALLY expensive to eat gluten free. That is why to this day, Cody is the only one eating gluten free in our family.

Last week I made a trip to Back to the Basics to get some supplies for my regular bread making. While there, I noticed a bag of gluten free oats. I have not been able to bring myself to the point of buying gf oats because they are usually about $11.00 for a bag equivalent to what you would pay $2.50 for in regular oats. Their oats were $9.30. Not cheap, but less than usual. I stood their with a dilemma before me. Do I spend this money on oats? Swirling through my mind were thoughts of all the extra expenses we have with the holidays coming up. I was also thinking about how many children in Africa that amount of money could feed. I was really struggling with this decision. As I was debating in my mind, Rick's words, that he has said to me many times, popped into my head, "Laura, we can be so consumed with helping children in Africa that we forget about our own children." Whoa! I tend to do that. I want this Africa thing to be something that is positive to my children, not negative. I want my children to learn to make their own sacrifices about things that God puts on their hearts. I don't want to always impose sacrifices on them. You see, I didn't hesitate to donate $10 to Water for Christmas, but at that moment I was questioning if my own child was worth the $9.30 that this bag of oats cost. Now, I realize these are two very different things. Water is necessary for life, and oats are not. Cody has had to make a LOT of personal sacrifices when it comes to food. It affects him socially as well. My willingness to minister to my child in this way is exactly what God was calling me to do in that moment. I bought the oats. I made him No bake chocolate oatmeal cookies. He was so excited. He hasn't had them in so long.

This post is my way of saying that I can't lose sight of the calling that I have to minister to my children. God has given them to me. I have a responsibility to consider them as much as I consider children in Africa. Yes, it looks different, but I believe the results will speak volumes to my children. So, the dilemma I live with on a daily basis is the balance of ministering in Africa and in my own home. That bag of oats just might be my reminder for many days to come.

Cody now, healthy.