Reflecting and Looking Forward

I can't believe it has been over a week since I returned from my trip to Dallas. The trip was good for me in so many ways. Of course, it was a much needed break. I love Dallas. I loved having a few days with no responsibilities. I could sleep in. I didn't have to cook or even think about sustaining the lives of 6 other people. What a treat! I didn't have to do any housework: no dishes, no laundry, no sweeping, no vacuuming. There were no school responsibilities: no checking homework, no 3 trips a day to drop off and pick up, no reviewing phonograms, no checking in on projects, no reading to children. It was great...

...for a weekend. But one thing I discovered while I was gone is that I wouldn't trade my life. I was with single women, I was with married women with less children than me, and I was with married women whose children are grown. Even in the midst of a "break" I found myself thinking about Rick and the kids a lot. So many things would remind me of them. I would think of the cute things they do. I would experience something that I wanted them to experience, too. In my mind, I compared the stresses of my life to the stresses of those around me. I have come to terms with the fact that my whole house will not be clean again all at once for a long time(that doesn't mean I don't get irritated). I have come to terms with the fact that my husband and I can't have a date night every week(at least not at this stage). I have come to terms with the idea that inviting a family of 8 over for dinner is very overwhelming to most people(our dinner invitations have decreased over the years as we add to our family). I am trying to come to terms with the fact that as my kids get older I am probably going to have to drive one of those big conversion vans that will seat 11(I am not quite there on this one yet. I really love my truck).

Anyway, I could ramble on and on. The point is this: My life is good. My life is my calling. I love doing what God has called me to do, and I don't want to trade with anyone. I love the family He has created that is called "The Clapp Family." We aren't perfect. We don't fit into a mold. We are seeking to be who God has called us to be and invite others to join us in that journey.

I am thankful for the opportunity to evaluate my life. I will still need many more breaks, but I can approach each day with the confidence that no matter how hard that day is, I am doing what God has called me to. It is not glamorous, and it is often mundane, but it is me living each day the best that I can in the calling that I have.