Choices

We had the opportunity to go to the mountains as a family for the long weekend.

It was great to have no cell phones, no computers, and only movies we chose to watch together.

We arrived back in town on Monday, and Rick left right away for a business trip to Dallas.

Yes, you read that right, Dallas, one of my favorite places on earth.

As if reentry wasn't hard enough already, I am doing this week on my own while he is eating Tex-Mex and enjoying warm temperatures in Big D. (No, I am not bitter.)

This is a crazy busy week, wrestling practices and duels for Cody, bball practice for Sam, piano lessons for Abby, Life Group for Cody, school for the 5 big kids, MOPs for me, and all my usual daily activities like grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.

I drove 115 miles today just getting everyone to their various schools and activities.

I watched Cody wrestle with the middle school team today for the first time. I was a bit traumatized. I came out of there all stressed out from all the anxiety of watching those boys beat up on each other. At one point, I was pretty sure one was going to pass out as he was being choked and his face was turning purple. There were multiple bloody noses and some pretty hard body slams. It is going to take me some time to get used to this sport, especially when it is my son or one of his friends in the match.

I have pics to share from our weekend away.

I have a chore system to share as well.

I am hoping for good sleep tonight after tossing and turning all night long last night.

God is stirring some things in me. He has done some amazing things in my heart over the last 2 months. All I can say is, "Every step we are breathing in His Grace."(one of my favorite lines from my theme song for this year, "Never Once.")

That inhaling of God's grace and forgiveness in my own life is allowing me to exhale it to others. It is a very freeing thing to be able to forgive without the need to right the wrongs or the expectation of a "sorry" or "I was wrong." I place it all in God's Hands to work out His will as He sees fit in my life and the lives of others.

I am able to move forward with a burden lifted. I am able to seek God unhindered by the weight of bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. It is a new concept for me. Every time I feel that tug to go back and remember the wrongs, I remind myself of the bondage they held on my heart, and I inhale and exhale that grace once again for me and for others.

There have been many tears. Tears of mourning and grief over the wounds, pain, and losses of the last year and a half. I am trying desperately to cling to God and His purpose in it all. He has a plan for me, for us, for our future in all that has happened. I am getting glimpses, teasers, you could say, of what is to come.

I CHOOSE to believe. I CHOOSE to move forward. I CHOOSE to hope. I CHOOSE to follow.

Every time I make those CHOICES I experience more freedom and more of Him.