Grow, Already!

Saturday was planting day around here.  We all loaded up and headed to the store to get flowers, seeds, and garden soil and plants.  It was a very exciting trip.  We were quite the spectacle the whole time.  I have gotten used to being watched and laughed at.  Really, I have!

Sam, Lauren, and Abby did some flower planting in front of the house.  

Isaiah and Laila lost interest after about 1 minute. 

I lost interest before we started.  

 Next up, Abby's garden.  This girl is passionate about all things gardening.  She even has a summer job lined up to get some experience, earn a little cash, and help out an older friend of ours.

Abby's garden bed

 This girl has the motivation to garden.  

This summer we get to see if she has a green thumb!

 The plants waiting to be planted.

We, I mean they,  planted tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, pumpkins, zucchini, cilantro, and we are going to add squash this week.

 In process

 She loved every minute of it!

 I am hoping for some veggies, even just one of each, please.

Gardening is an expensive endeavor.  I am pretty sure that with the money we spent to set this whole thing up, I could have gotten a lot of our summer produce at the Farmer's Market.  Oh, well, it has to be about the experience and learning opportunity it provides at this point.  Investing in the future!

Rockin' Out Roman Day

On Friday, Abby's class had Roman Day.  I have to say, I was really impressed with the costume that Abby came up with.  We only spent $1.00 to buy a silver ribbon to make a headband.  When I went to her class, she clearly had the best costume.  She rocked it out!  Way to go, Abby!

 They did many activities throughout the day.  They made a Roman Road snack layered with granola, candy bars, fig bars, malted milk balls, and oreos.  Since she is gluten free right now, she couldn't eat it.  She shared it with her brothers and sisters.  They also made a mosaic of Roman architecture.

I got to be there for the Roman coin archeological dig.  Someone donated 80 real ancient Roman coins to the school.  The kids were so excited to think about the fact that Julius Caesar and other Roman people they had learned about could have touched their coin.

They started by digging through sand to find their coin

 Next came the cleaning of the coin

 Abby's very own Roman coin.  

She even found a picture of it in one of the books!

 Abby and her teacher

The day ended with a Roman feast:  Bread, olives, figs, cheese, ham, grapes and juice.

Mother's Day Discoveries

I have decided I have a love/hate relationship with  Mother's Day.  I love the idea of it.  I believe in celebrating this calling of motherhood that God has placed on my life.  I always approach it with expectations that I don't even realize are there.  I have been thinking about this ALOT this week.  I was so frustrated on Mother's Day, but as I look back, with a different perspective, I realize it wasn't a bad day.  My family did a lot of nice things for me, things that spoke my love languages.  

In talking to a friend this week, I think I figured out where my issues are.  First of all, my kids are young.  There is only so much they are going to do to make Mother's Day special on their own.  They are selfish little human beings that don't think through the ramifications of their actions.  On top of that, I entered Mother's Day wanting everything to be perfect, including my children.  I think, "Can't I just have this one day out of the year?"  If my kids fight, I go to this place mentally where I say, "I am such a failure.  They can't even treat each other well for one day.  Don't they love me enough to just give me a break?  Have I taught them NOTHING for the last 14 years of my life?"  Every disobedience, every item of clutter left around our house, every selfish act is seen by me as a personal attack on my calling as a mother.  REALLY?!?!  On no other day do I take these actions so personally.  Why do I have to place so much of my value on one day out of the year?  Does anyone else out there do this? 

The below picture was taken at our lunch.  This flower was given to me by the restaurant.  It was broken and wilted when they gave it to me.  That was pretty much how I felt at that moment.  

Looking back now at my day, I can say my view was really skewed.  I have made a decision.  I think we should change "Mother's Day" to "Mother's Day Out."  You see when I get a break, I can think more clearly.  When I get a break, I see my kids more realistically.  It sounds a bit ironic to say that I would like to spend Mother's Day away from my kids, but in actuality, I think that is what I need the most, at least in these years with young children.  It gives me a chance to relax, unwind, and even feel valued.  In those moments, I can look at my life as a mom with affection and sentimentality.  I can see my kids for who they are, little individuals with their own little personalities, strengths and weaknesses.  I do think this will change as they get older.  They will mature and grow and so will I.  For now, I have decided that "Mother's Day Out" is the way to go.  As moms, we should unite and spend a day celebrating our calling as moms, encouraging each other, doing something fun, and of course, eating some really yummy food!!  I went on my iphone for the week approaching Mother's Day next year and typed in a little note to myself every day of that week leading up to Mother's Day.  It says, "Do not have any expectations for Mother's Day.  Plan to get away in some way!"  Next year, I want to do this day better.  I want my heart to be more centered and loving.  I want to feel the true emotions that are really there, but get so messed up by my emotions of the day.  

I would like to share a few pics from my Mother's Day.  As I said, it was a good day full of sacrifices made by Rick and my kids.  

On Friday, Lauren's class hosted a Mother's Day Tea

This was the placemat Lauren made for me

It has the verse Philippians 1:15 on it, "I thank God every time I remember you."

My precious girl served me and made a beautiful card, wrote a beautiful poem for me and did words to describe me with the letters of my name. 

My favorite thing she said about me is that I love to dance!

Sunday morning at church

They even agreed to coordinating outfits.  That is love for sure!

Out to lunch at On the Border

I just love this picture

After lunch, I got to take nap!  After nap time(as you can tell by my appearance), they showered me with gifts.  I got chocolate, homemade cards, Lauren made me a necklace, and this chair to sit outside in the sun and read a book on sunny days.  

Notice in this picture, Sam is upset about something and Lauren decided it would be really funny to do her creepy kid face.  Yes, those are my children, and I love them!

I am thankful for my Mother's Day discoveries.  I am such a blessed woman.  I really want to become the kind of person that focus on the blessings of my life so much more than the frustrations!!

Working on it

I am working on a post from Mother's Day.  Right now, I am waiting on some pics from Rick's phone (hint!  hint!)  I just couldn't wait to write a post so, here you go:

~Rick and I went to a wedding on Sat.  It was really beautiful.  The thing I loved the most about it was how worshipful it was.  There were 6 worship songs, and they made for such a great experience for the whole crowd.  We also saw lots of people that we haven't seen in a while.  That was fun, too!  I would love to have another wedding, to Rick of course.  I would do it so differently now.  Congratulations Josh and Hava!!  I can't think of a better way for you start your marriage!!

~On Saturday night, our whole family went to a "Team Huddle" at church.  This was a crazy, action-packed evening with food, prizes, and some fun to rally everyone together and hear the what God is doing and where He is leading for the future.  These kinds of things are really good for us as we try to connect and get involved.  I would say we are still in major transitional stage.  Each week is getting better and the kids are slowly finding their places and connections.

~Yesterday, was our last MOPs meeting for the school year.  I am sure some of you will be relieved to know that I got my eyebrows waxed at our spa day.  I feel so much better now.  You no longer have to worry about being attacked by my eyebrows if you get too close. I love MOPs and am going to miss it so much.  I see it as an opportunity to connect, get a break, and minister to young moms.  I am the old fogey of the group and the joke is that I will keep getting more kids just so I don't have to graduate out!!  Thanks, Melissa for a great MOPs year.

~We are so close to being done with school.  That both excites and frightens me all at the same time!!  I have to figure out how to manage 6 children all day every day for the whole summer.  That feels a bit overwhelming right now.  This is why I must have a plan!!

~I have injured my knee.  I have no idea what happened.  I cannot pinpoint an injury.  I just know that it is swollen and hurts a lot.  I am icing it, using it, and taking ibuprofen, but it is not getting better.  Yippee, old age is setting in full force!!

"Using What We Have" Update

In January, I wrote this post.  My goal:  Spending less money, using more of what we already have instead of buying new things, and decluttering.

I can proudly say that as of today, I feel like I have made quite a bit of progress towards this goal.

For the first 4 months of the year, I have not bought hair products(except one product for Isaiah when we were trying to create locs), lotions, soaps, or cleaning products.  This week I made my first purchase because we have literally depleted our reserves.

I have gone through, thrown away, and given away boxes and boxes of stuff that we have in our basement.  I have really tried to be willing to let go of things that I am not using.  I have been able to give away tons of kid's clothes, many household items, and quite a few toys.  I have found some really good causes that could use the stuff that is just sitting in a box in my house.  Really, why am I keeping all this stuff when someone else genuinely needs it and can benefit from it?

I am encouraging the kids to do the same.  If they can complete a project with things around the house, then we can save money and get rid of more stuff.  Abby is a master at finding uses for things that I just see as trash.  She is kind of a "Craft McGyver" of sorts.  We are currently working on her Roman Day costume.  I will share pictures next week when she has it all together.  I have only spent $1.07 on the whole thing

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On a totally different note, we are preparing for summer around here.  The kids are creating "bucket lists" of fun activities and acts of kindness that we can do for the summer.  I will share those once they are complete.  We have registered for VBS.  We have a trip to KY planned with a mini beach vaca for Rick and me to celebrate my bday.  All 4 of us girls have summer bdays.  There is lots of bday planning going on around here!

Abby is planting a small garden this summer.  She and Rick built a garden bed last weekend.  We are waiting a couple more weeks to plant.  Today is the perfect example of why.  It is in the 40s and rainy.  Not good weather for a freshly planted garden.  I want to make sure we do everything possible to make this little venture successful for Abby.  She is so excited about it.

If you see me in the next couple of days, please don't be alarmed.  I do realize that my eyebrows are out of control and frightening.  If you get too close, they just might reach out and grab you!  When I was looking in the mirror today, I just kept telling myself, "4 more days, only 4 more days."  I am getting them ready for our spa day at MOPs on Tuesday, free eyebrow waxing.  Yippee!!  Lord help me if they run out of time before they do mine.

3 kids are at sleepovers tonight and only 3 are home.  We ordered pizza and had so much leftover.  As we were sitting at the table eating dinner with Sam, Isaiah and Laila, we realized that some day it will just be the 4 of us.  Wow!  That is so weird to even contemplate.  Unless, of course, we adopt those 14 children Isaiah is praying for!

Today was Rick's first Friday off with his new job.  His work schedule is now Sunday-Thursday.  I just wanted to smile all day.  It was so nice.  I have missed having him at home on Fridays.

Living Like An Orphan

Isaiah is going through a rough patch right now.  I shouldn't be surprised by it, but I always am.  This is how it is with kids, especially strong-willed ones.  They challenge you, for a period of time just to see if you will stand your ground.  Then, once you show them you really still are the boss, they settle into a season of better behavior.  

On the one hand, he is passionate.  He is a little comedian and charmer

 He loves to make people laugh and be the center of attention

 He is loving and affectionate and his smile could melt you into a puddle

He is a risk taker and survivor

 On the other hand, he can frustrate me to the point of wanting to run as fast as I can and scream at the top of my lungs.  He is a challenging kid.  His voice is so loud, it sounds like he has a megaphone attached to his mouth at all times.  To top it off, he talks ALL. DAY. LONG.   He doesn't take "no" for an answer, EVER.  Multiple times a day, we have a discussion about who the boss it.   He pushes the limit every minute of every day.   His philosophy is, "you just never know when mom might let her guard down, and I will get away with it.  He will even use that amazing smile and charm to manipulate to get what he wants, and so many people fall for it!!

All of this means that I cannot let up my guard.  I have to be consistent.  I give him a millimeter, he takes 10 miles.  It is so exhausting to have to be so tough with him all the time. It really limits the ability to be fun and spontaneous and "break the rules."  Doing that will set a chain reaction of behaviors that are just not worth it.  

I have noticed in the last 3 weeks that he has reverted back to many of the behaviors that he displayed when we first brought him home.  He has been living like he is an orphan.  He destroys things that others have that he doesn't have.  Because if he can't have it, they shouldn't either.  He disregards the rules of our household.  He talks about going to another family.

All the while, we continue to love him.  We prove to him that nothing he can ever do will change that love.  I think he is testing us sometimes just to see if we will still love him.  We are the 4th caregivers he has had in his life.  He has been with us the longest.  But that doesn't matter.  He still has to be shown over and over that we are his FOREVER family.

I share all of these things because I think it is important for those who have adopted to see that this is normal.  I also think those that have not adopted need to see that there are complex issues and struggles that adoptive families will ALWAYS face.  Seriously, he has been in our family for 3 years, yet he still doubts at times.  He still struggles with his story(what little of it he can understand at this point).  He still questions our love for him.  He still tries to function apart from the team.

I think there have been a few reasons these behaviors have creeped back in.  First, was this:

The 3 year celebration of their adoption

  We approach this event with excitement and joy, but he knows.  He knows that the fact that he was adopted means that something went wrong with his first family.  He knows that he was born in Swaziland.  He knows that his skin is a different color than ours.  He doesn't fully grasp it all, but he knows.  Even in the celebrating, there is grief over the brokenness of his past.

Also, the celebration of a friend's adoption has brought up questions in his heart.  Our philosophy is to be honest about his history, but to only answer the questions he is asking.  What I mean is, on the way to the adoption, he asked, "What was my first family like?"  My answer, "Isaiah, we don't really know. We never met them."  Then, he moved on to something else.  Now, I could have gone into a long discussion here with him, but I don't think he was ready for that.  He was satisfied with that answer and he will learn more as he gets older.

It breaks my heart that he chooses to live as an orphan when he is no longer an orphan.  God showed me recently that I do the same thing in my walk with him.  I question His love for me.  I doubt my place in His family.  I try to do things myself rather than relinquishing control to the one that loves me more than I could ever imagine.  I choose to do it my way instead of His.  All the while He loves me, He accepts me, He treats my as His daughter.

Our family would not be the same without these two!  

If you want to learn more about the issues and struggles that adopted children face, I would highly recommend the book, "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" by Sherrie Eldridge.  It is a great book that gives insight into this subject.

Oh, and Isaiah is convinced we need to adopt more children.  He has been saying over and over, "Mommy, I want more brothers and sisters.  I want us to adopt more children and feed them."  Recently, in the truck, he even spontaneously prayed a prayer that Jesus would give us more children to adopt.  I love his sweet heart.  He knows the difference that being in a family can make.

Living the Dream

Every time I hear that phrase, it just makes me laugh.

On our last Swazi trip, that became a phrase that we used a lot, sometimes sarcastically.  

Even though I am doing exactly what God has called me to do, being a stay-at-home mom, most days don't feel very dreamy.

That is how life is, though.  There are highlights and low points, but most days are just normal.  I really want to see God in the normal of my life.  I want to soak in His presence while I am "living the dream" that is my life.  Every mundane act can be an act of worship.  If only I could remember that in those moments!!  

~Right now, I am looking out my window at snow coming down.  You read that right.  It is May 7, and it is snowing.  It was in the mid-80s on Saturday.

~I have some really exciting options for my afternoon while Isaiah is at school and Laila takes her nap.
- I can clean my bathroom
- Exercise
- go through boxes in my basement
- bake something for the kids to have for breakfast this week
The temptation is to take advantage of this chilly snowy/rainy day and curl up under a blanket with a good book.

~Today is a big day, actually.  Rick began his new job today.  I am excited for him and the new opportunities for ministry for our family.  

~Abby's headaches have been "off the charts" over the last month.  We have done everything.  Today we begin trying gluten free to see if that makes a difference.  I have done gluten free with Cody.  It is not fun.  It is expensive, but I am so desperate to get some relief for this child.  She has some form of headache every day, but the last few weeks have been so intense.

~Laila's hair is complete!!  We have 8 weeks before we have to do it all again!  I will be 40 the next time I do her braids.

~The kids have 3 weeks of school left.  We are beginning our summer planning.  I challenged them this morning to come up with 2 lists for summer.  First, a list of fun things they would like to do.  Second, a list of acts of kindness we could do for others.  I will share more about both of these lists later.

~Can I just say how much I love Kohl's?  They really impressed me this weekend.  I bought Sam a pair of tennis shoes at the end of January that were pricey.  I decided it would be worth the investment to have them last longer than the cheaper shoes that he was going through quickly.  Well, last week, the shoes fell apart.  I was so frustrated.  I had my receipt so I thought it was worth a shot to take them back and see what would happen.  They gave me my money back!!  That is what I call customer service.  I will definitely be shopping there more in the future.

Living the dream, people.  Living the dream!