You Never Know What Your Day Might Hold!

I am constantly thinking through Isaiah's comments like the one I shared yesterday. This whole parenting through adoption thing has thrown me for a loop at times. It doesn't matter that I have already parented 4 children before Isaiah and Laila became ours. What matters is that they feel secure as our children. What matters is that they know that we love them the same as our bio kids. That means in my parenting of that I have to keep that in mind ALL THE TIME!!

One issue that has come up quite a bit with Isaiah has been that we weren't there when he was born. We didn't know him as a baby. The first picture we have of him is at 2 years old. We were really blessed to get Laila at such a young age(9 months), but even at that age, we missed so much. I LOVE the baby stage, and I feel cheated that I didn't get to enjoy that with them.

In thinking through all of that, I had a realization this morning. I had no idea on the day of each of their births that my life had changed forever on those days. I became a mom to two more kids without any knowledge of it. God had planted Swaziland in my heart earlier that year that Isaiah was born. In fact, I can look back now and realize that the time period that God put Africa on my heart was, in fact, the time in which Isaiah was conceived. That is profound to me and just one more piece of the puzzle that will show him God's Hand on his little life.

I have thought through and analyzed every detail of both of those days.

Isaiah was born on December 18, 2006. I woke up that morning early to head to Ft. Collins to visit my friend, Andrea, who had moved there earlier in the year. I had such a great drive up alone in my car, praying and listening to music and sermons on my ipod. Swaziland is 8 hours ahead of us so at that point, he may have already been born. Sanele, my little baby boy, born to his Swazi Mama. What was his birth like? How much did he weigh? What did he look like? So many questions swirl through my head. All along, I am just going about my day with no clue of God's bigger plan that was forming on the other side of the world. For me it seemed like just another day in my life. In reality it was monumental.

Laila was born on June 24, 2008. I was actually in Swaziland on that day and have discovered that we took our team to visit the hospital where Laila was born ON THE DAY she was born. I remember very vividly seeing a group of laboring women in a grassy area in the hospital courtyard. How amazing would it be if I actually saw her Swazi mama???!!! Her mother was sick. I may have walked by my baby girl in the children's ward without even knowing it!! Demalangeni was her name. This little girl in just a short week would lose her Swazi mama and spend the next 9 months without a mom. That was a profound day for me because any day in Swaziland is profound, but I had no idea of the depth of God's timing in where He had me on that particular day. Once again, a piece of the puzzle to say to Laila, "I was close to you the day you were born. I didn't know it, but we were there together."

I woke up this morning pondering these thoughts. I realized that even though my day is planned with certain activities, I have no idea what kind of work God is doing behind the scenes. I may look back on this day later and try to remember each detail because of the significance that it played out in my life. God's plan is bigger than the cheesy potatoes I need to make for a lunch I am going to and the picking up of kids from school and the party at church that I am going to with Lauren tonight. Even in our everyday lives, He is orchestrating His bigger plan.

Today, that gives me HOPE. Hope I have needed to feel for a while. Hope that I will grab hold of with all my might and not let go. I pray, despite the circumstances you are facing, that it gives you hope, too.

I feel like our work in Swaziland is on hold right now. We are following through with God's leadership to make Beyond Survival a non-profit. That is the only direction God has given us at this point. While we WAIT for the process to be complete, I feel restless. I know that the needs are great and day-by-day become greater. I see the work that others are doing and feel ashamed that I am not doing more. I want to jump on the bandwagon and make things happen. I want to raise money for this "need"(insert- school fees, carepoint Christmas party, medical issues, etc.) I see or make people aware of this "issue"(insert- weather destroyed this Gogo's house, this missionary needs support, this child will not go to school without a uniform, etc.) that has come to my attention. All the while, God continues to say to me, "Wait. Complete this process. Don't try to control this."

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOUR DAY MIGHT HOLD!!

You may not know for years the significance of this very day in your life. All I know is that 2 days over the last 5 years that were just normal days from the beginning to end resulted in these amazing blessings in my life:
As I watch "Little Einsteins" with them and feed them their breakfast this morning, and even send Isaiah to time out, I feel HOPE in my spirit. That God can do this thing way better than I ever could.

Today, I release it. I give it over. I trust. How about you?