Friday, August 24, 2012

Painful Transitions

I am feeling a bit off today.

This week of getting the kids back to school has wiped me out completely.

I have taken naps 2 days this week with Laila and still slept well at night.  That is highly unusual for me.

We have had some very early mornings around here scurrying around to get everyone to their respective schools fully dressed in their uniforms, fully fed breakfast, and fully equipped for lunch and snacks throughout the day.

It is not an easy task.

Lauren and Sam are in full swing with soccer and football practices.

Lauren and Cody have started back up with youth activities at church.

I have spent A LOT of time in my truck this week.

Rick has been out of town since Wed., but as I type this, he is flying home!!

I wish I could say that my "feeling off" is just about the transitions of this week, but honestly, it isn't.

It has been a hard week for me emotionally.

Summer is over.  School has begun.  There is so much work that I need to do around this house.

I kind of thought the house would be neater once school started, but I guess I would have to actually do some housework for that to be the case.

But, it isn't even just that.

I have felt sad.  Sad about the losses I have experienced over the last couple of years.  Sad about relationships changing.

I want a fresh start, but with a fresh start, some things have to be discarded.

That is hard for me.  I don't fully know how to decide what to discard and what to keep(and I am not really referring to things right now).

I have this battle going on in me.

Where do I put my efforts?  What do I let go?

Who do I invest in?  Who do I let go?

What do I place my value in?

Hard questions that I don't know all the answers to.

I just know that right now, I feel yucky, because I desperately want to be doing ONLY what God has called me to.

I am not even sure why I felt the need to share this other than to show where I am and what is going on in my heart.  Maybe you are having a hard day, too and just need to know that you are not alone.

So, in order to not be a total downer, I thought I would leave you with this picture of Isaiah and Laila taking an "air shower" in front of the air conditioner.  It brings a smile to my face every time!

1 comment:

  1. I had one of those weeks too, but the last couple of days have been better. I struggle with many of the same feelings. I'll be praying for you as you continue moving forward and seeking God's will for your life, and I'll pray a magic fairy cleaner will show up while you're sleeping. I'll warn you though that although I have prayed for that magic fairy many times over the years, she hasn't shown up, but it hasn't stopped me from praying for her. :)