When I decided to start a blog, I was determined to be honest about my life. Nobody has a perfect life. It is so refreshing for me to read a blog that is honest and open and real. This is my first attempt at living that out. Let me preface this with the statement that I love my children, I love my life, and am very thankful for all that God has given me. I just need an opportunity to vent and I think it is healthy for moms to speak out about their struggles. Hopefully this will encourage some of you who are having a bad day.
I have come to terms with the fact that with 6 children basically someone is upset or disobedient at all times. The odds are stacked against me to have peace. I am trying to live with that expectation so that I am not so devastated when life is chaotic. I find that I often walk around throughout my day either on the verge of tears or ready to scream. Today has been a perfect example of that. My patience has been tested and God has also given me a glimpse that He sees and He cares.
My day started off with kids fighting. I had not been up for 5 minutes before 3 of them were going at it. This has become a theme in their lives and I am tired of it. So, I determined that they needed a lesson in getting along. They were given the task of cleaning the basement together without fighting.
After that drama, my oldest decided that he needed to vent about my parenting. I am too hard on them. I ask too much of them, etc. Some of it is probably valid, but his method of venting was disrespectful and dramatic. Then, while at Abby's dance class, Isaiah decides to throw the mother of all fits. He is very strong willed. He was mad and nothing would stop him. So, I am stuck because I can't leave Abby. I still also have Laila to take care of while this little man was screaming, flailing, and defying me in every way possible. Finally, my children needed haircuts. There was really no getting around it. So, I braced myself, and we made the trek to Kiddie Kutters. While there, Sam got mad over a toy. He proceeded to give me a fit that was way above and beyond the offense done to him. I was so absolutely exhausted at that point. You see, if each of these events were all that I had to deal with, I might handle it better. But, I still have 5 other children to parent, two of which can't even walk right now, while each child chooses to express his anger.
Those are the trials. Now I am anxious to share the glimpse of God. We got 5 haircuts. Laila is the only one who didn't need one. The ladies at the salon had been asking a little about Isaiah and Laila's story. When I went to pay for the haircuts, the lady said, "Do you remember the guy who's hair I was cutting when you came in?" I said that I did. She said, "Before he left, he gave me a $20 bill and asked me to put this toward your haircuts!" What a shock, what a blessing, what a glimpse of God. Through the simple act of a stranger paying for 2 of my kids' haircuts, God showed me that He sees me and He cares. Thank you, Lord. I know you have called me to this role, I just some days wonder if I can fulfill that calling.
I don't know what some of you are experiencing in your calling today, but I am praying that God will give you a glimpse of Himself in your life!!