Give It To The Lord

I just have to start by saying this parenting gig is hard.  Lately, I have felt like it is kicking my butt.

Last year, I had the opportunity to be a part of a panel speaking and answering questions at a MOPs meeting.  I had a particularly hard morning leading up to that time and we feeling pretty fed up with my older kids.  I was talking to Rick on the phone right before the meeting when he asked me what I was going to share with these moms of preschoolers.  My answer, "Suck it up ladies, it only gets harder!"

Now, I know that would not have been the most encouraging message, but I have had many days where I have felt that way.  Don't get wrong, I KNOW that dealing with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers is HARD WORK!  I have done it 6 times over.  The problem is that I was comfortable in that stage.  I love babies, I think toddlers and preschoolers are adorable, and I feel like I am good mom to them.  I know how to potty train, deal with temper tantrums, make baby food, and love and nurture little ones.

The stakes feel like they are so much higher with my bigger kids.  We are only a few years into this tween/teenager thing, but I already feel like I have messed it up in so many ways.  I am a pretty black and white, justice-oriented kind of person.  That works really well with little kids.  I can say, "I'm the boss" and hold them to that.  I can demand respect and discipline for those times that they rebel.  Heck, I can put them down for a nap when all else fails.  Those methods don't quite work with bigger kids.

There is this ongoing struggle in my head and my heart to know when to lay down the law and when to  show grace for the sake of the relationship.  Grace is not something I am able to give very freely.  I either feel like I am being taken advantage of, giving in, or not teaching my kids "how the real world works."  Rick on the other had is a grace philanthropist.  He just gives it out so freely, without hesitation or concern that it will be unappreciated.  It sickens me actually, both because it is so easy for him and because I just can't figure out how to develop that aspect of my life.

You see, I see older teens and adults all around me that just don't get it.  They think life is all about them, and they will do whatever they have to in order to get what they want.  I shudder to think that my kids could turn out that way.  There is this drive in me to create exemplary citizens and people who contribute positively to society.

I have been having these battles with my kids over the way they treat each other, the words that come out of their mouths, and the way they interact with me.  Some days, I am really scared about how they will "turn out."

Then, I realized today that I have this whole thing wrong.  They have choices to make.  I can guide them and teach them.  I have spent the last 14 years doing that.  At some point, I have to give it to the Lord.  I have continue to fulfill my responsibility, but I do not have control.  They have to choose.

So, where does that leave me?  ON. MY. KNEES.  before God begging Him to intervene in their lives, trusting Him to teach them in ways that I can't, and praying daily that He will give me the wisdom to know when and how to give grace and when to draw the line.

Oh, I am going to have 17 years of parenting teenagers so I should be an expert by the time this is over, a really exhausted expert.  I wouldn't trade this calling for anything.  I am grateful to be a mom and blessed to have these 6 kids.  Today, I am feeling the weight of all that it means.  I want to do it well.  I want to be in my kids' lives and give them the space they need to grow and choose on their own.

Today, I must give it to the Lord, AGAIN!!

14 YEARS OLD!!

Cody turned 14 years old on Friday.  We gave him the option to stay home from school, but he chose to go.  I think he wanted to be around his friends.  This was his year for a family party so it was a pretty low-key Birthday.  

Morning breakfast cupcakes

 The girls decorated so he could come home to a decorated house

 I can't believe how old he looks.  

He is officially taller than me.  He wears bigger shoes than me. 

 Before long, I will have to look up to look into his eyes.

Poor, kid, as the firstborn, he is the "guinea pig" in so many ways!

 Sam gave him coupons for his bday.

 Lauren gave him a 3-liter of soda.  

I don't know what is up with her look here.

 Abby gave him cashews and snow cone syrup for his snow cone maker that he bought at a yard sale

 Laila gave him gum and Arizona Sweet Tea

Are you sensing a theme here?

 Isaiah picked out this water gun and bought it with his own money!

 Mello Yello is scarce in CO.  It is his beverage of choice.

He also got some money from both grandparents, a Walgreens gift card(he loves to ride his bike there), jeans(his favorite, not), a lamp for his bedside table and some milk duds.

I made Korean Beef, Rice, and Egg Rolls for his Bday dinner. 

We had ice cream cake for dessert:  Yellow cake, Snickers Ice Cream

Cody reenacting blowing out his candles.  Lovely photo that I will always cherish!

On the night of his bday, Rick, Cody, and I rented Hunger Games to watch.  He and I had already seen it, but Rick hadn't.  He wanted his dad to see it.  Then, on Saturday, Rick and Cody went to see Avengers at the movies.  Rick and I still plan to take him out for a bday meal.

Cody,
This last year has brought many adjustments to your life. It has been hard to adapt and adjust.  I so appreciate that even though it was hard, you CHOSE to move forward.  You accepted God's plan for our family even though it rocked your world.  On this side of things, you are stronger, more mature, and better for the process.  I see you claiming your faith as your own.  You are sooooo independent that is painful for me at times.  But, I guess that is my goal, right, to make you independent.  It is just happening faster than I can keep up with it.  I will always be your mama and you will always be my baby boy.  You have a tenderness and sensitivity in your heart that takes me by surprise when I least expect it and in ways that I could not predict.  You have the ability to make others feel special and pick out just the right gifts for them.  You are a natural leader.  I have loved watching you take on some odd jobs and excel at them.  You are a hard worker.  Each year is going to bring new adventures, new responsibilities and new freedoms.  I am excited to see God's plans unfold for you.  "You'll always be my little man, I'll love you the best that a Mama can."
Love,
Mom

Dry Cleaner Eyebrows

We have completed our first full week of everyone in school.  I had 4 days of 2 1/2 hours to myself Mon.-Thurs. this week.  It was glorious.  I determined ahead of time that I was not going to do any work during that time for the first week.  Rick said, "Why just the first week?"  Well, honey, since you put it that way, maybe I will extend my time.  We'll see.  I do have some goals for this time throughout the year.  

~I want to use one of those days each week to do a project around the house.  I figure if I consistently do this, I can tackle out some big areas of our house that have needed attention.  I don't know about you, but these things eat away at me, but I feel so overwhelmed with the daily tasks that I feel I can never get around to them. 

~I want to use one day a week to do some make-ahead meals.  I plan to take a day to make breakfast foods, main items for our family meals, gluten free baking, and revive my regular bread making.  Having things prepared and ready to pull out from the freezer really eases my daily stress.

~The other two days, I hope to have some time with friends and some extended quiet time and time for reading.  

I just downloaded these cute photos from Laila's first day of school.  I had to share them:

She was so adorable that first day.

I calculated her "20 hundred seconds" and it is actually 3 1/2 hours.  So she wasn't too far of when she said that school lasts 20 hundred seconds!  She is a math genius already!

 washing her hands in the classroom

I had quite the adventures during my first week "me time."

On the first day, I headed straight to the mall.

I really can't remember the last time I went to the mall, much less alone. 

I didn't need a stroller or have to keep up with kids.  

I was able to take my time and browse. 

 I had a coupon for FREE Chick-fil-a

 I walked around and smelled all the yummy scents!

I had some coupons and ended up get a few hand soaps that we needed.

I even left with a FREE lotion!

I even had a coupon for FREE underwear!

I couldn't resist splurging a bit with my favorite, a French Silk Pie Blizzard

Earlier this year, I purchased an online deal for eyebrow threading.  I was excited to try it out after my time at the mall.  I didn't know where this place was, and when I pulled up to the address, this is what i saw:

 I was thinking, "what in the world."  I had trouble scheduling the appt.  The phone number seemed to be someone's private cell number.  I was suspicious leading up to it, but now I was just plain confused. As I got out of my truck, I thought, "well, at least they will grow back."  As I walked towards the door, a woman came out to meet me and led me to a room off the side of the building.  When I walked inside, I felt like I was in a another country.  There was a chair and a light.  She told me to sit down.  She grabbed her thread and started going all Edward Scissorhands on me.  It was amazing and frightening all at the same time.  She ended by doing a little trimming with some scissors.  The whole thing took all of 2 minutes.  I sat up and was amazed.  I love it!!  I will totally do it again.  I have even had a few people who didn't know about it comment on how great my eyebrows look.  This is the best pic I could take on my own:

 Man, my nose looks huge in this picture!!  

The rest of my week was spent reading, having quiet time, eating relaxing lunches while watching some TV, doing some blog reading, and running some "fun" errands.  I will say that first day seemed really long and each day after, the time felt shorter and shorter.  It goes pretty fast.  Once it ends, I begin a 5 hour marathon that includes picking kids up from 3 schools, delivering kids to sports and other activities, feeding everyone dinner, checking homework, and getting everyone to bed.  It is nonstop.  I am really thankful to have the time in the afternoon to reenergize before the chaos sets in.

Isaiah's first 2 weeks of school have been pretty good.  He did get in trouble on the second day.  I really hoped we could make it through a whole week before we had issues.  Evidently, they were unable to have recess so he decided he was just going to shut down and not participate anymore.  Lovely.

It is interesting to me that every day when I asked what he learned at school he always says things like, "I learned not to punch people," I learned not to stomp on people's feet," or, my favorite, "I learned not to yell in the classroom."  I guess he is testing his boundaries to see what he can get away with.  It should be an interesting year.  As I said earlier, many prayers are going up for his teacher.  She has 10 boys in her classroom.

We found this jiggler mold at Walmart this week.  The kids have love their Phineas and Ferb jigglers:

One Cool Kid

My baby is in preschool, my sweet, shy little baby girl.  She is truly a treasure.  She has gone from a chunky 25 lb. 9 month old little girl with a furrowed brow, to this smiley, confident, loving young lady.   

 Every day, I marvel at who she has become.  Now, she is starting school.  Last week we had her Meet and Greet.  She has the same teacher that Isaiah did.  That is a huge blessing and is making this transition so much more comfortable for her.  I know I took a picture of her with her teacher, but cannot find it on my camera.  I will have to take another one.

After delivering her supplies, she did a little scavenger hunt around the room to find each of the stations on her "map".  She did great!

 She left that day so excited for her upcoming first day of school.  On that day she was little Miss Sassy:

 Notice she has on 2 pairs of sunglasses.  

She said that was so she could be REALLY cool!

 Check out that Rapunzel backpack

 She had a great day of school.  She marched her little self right into that room without hesitation.  She did her little jobs and waved me out the door.  When I arrived to pick her up, she was in Circle Time singing and clapping.  She turned around, smiled and waved at me.  

 When she walked out to see me, I asked about her day.  She said, "It was great!"  As we were driving to pick up the other kids I asked her about her day.  She said she did snack time, yoga, recess, painting, and story time.  I asked her what the names of her classmates were.  She said, "Sascha, Sofian, Finn, Kenzie, Flynn Ryder, Justin Bieber."  That made me laugh so hard.  The first 4 names were real classmates.  She said, "I am just being silly."

On Sunday, Cody was setting up a soda stand.  One of the kids said, "You should have Laila stand out there with you and say to the people passing by, "Would you yike to buy a soya?"(Would you like to buy a soda)in her cute little voice.  Then we said, "No, what you should do is dress her up like a little soda mascot."  That is exactly what he did.  I am sure he sold more sodas with her help.

Dr. Pepper is her favorite soda!

She says two little things that just crack me up these days.  If one of the bigger kids says some questionable words like stupid, idiot, etc. or are fighting with each other, she will call out "yanguage"(language).  Also, if a not-so-nice song comes on the radio, she will yell out "appwopwiate" (appropriate), meaning "we shouldn't be listening to that song."  It is adorable.  We have deemed her our little language policeman.

I hate to see these days pass by, but I am also excited about the little lady she is becoming.  She has been exhausted each evening after going to school.  She loves it, but the little introvert in her can only take so much interaction.  When I went to drop her off today, she said, "Mommy, I miss you when I am at school.  School lasts 20 hundred seconds.  It is long."  She is looking forward to her long weekend(5 days off).

I am experiencing some freedom of my own.  I will share more about how I have spent my 2 1/2 hours each day this week in another post.

Painful Transitions

I am feeling a bit off today.

This week of getting the kids back to school has wiped me out completely.

I have taken naps 2 days this week with Laila and still slept well at night.  That is highly unusual for me.

We have had some very early mornings around here scurrying around to get everyone to their respective schools fully dressed in their uniforms, fully fed breakfast, and fully equipped for lunch and snacks throughout the day.

It is not an easy task.

Lauren and Sam are in full swing with soccer and football practices.

Lauren and Cody have started back up with youth activities at church.

I have spent A LOT of time in my truck this week.

Rick has been out of town since Wed., but as I type this, he is flying home!!

I wish I could say that my "feeling off" is just about the transitions of this week, but honestly, it isn't.

It has been a hard week for me emotionally.

Summer is over.  School has begun.  There is so much work that I need to do around this house.

I kind of thought the house would be neater once school started, but I guess I would have to actually do some housework for that to be the case.

But, it isn't even just that.

I have felt sad.  Sad about the losses I have experienced over the last couple of years.  Sad about relationships changing.

I want a fresh start, but with a fresh start, some things have to be discarded.

That is hard for me.  I don't fully know how to decide what to discard and what to keep(and I am not really referring to things right now).

I have this battle going on in me.

Where do I put my efforts?  What do I let go?

Who do I invest in?  Who do I let go?

What do I place my value in?

Hard questions that I don't know all the answers to.

I just know that right now, I feel yucky, because I desperately want to be doing ONLY what God has called me to.

I am not even sure why I felt the need to share this other than to show where I am and what is going on in my heart.  Maybe you are having a hard day, too and just need to know that you are not alone.

So, in order to not be a total downer, I thought I would leave you with this picture of Isaiah and Laila taking an "air shower" in front of the air conditioner.  It brings a smile to my face every time!

Back to School Extravaganza 2012

The last week has been a whirlwind of Back to School activities.  When you say the title above, you have to do jazz hands to fully express the meaning of "Extravaganza."  Since I was sick for about a week, we packed some back to school fun into that last couple of days before the kids returned to school.  It all started last Wednesday with Lauren, Abby, and Sam's "Meet and Greets".  This is where we take our school supplies to the classroom and meet the teachers.  They also get to find out who is in their classrooms.  This is an "open house" format, but it literally takes us the whole time to get everyones supplies to the appropriate places.  I didn't take a picture of ALL the school supplies this year.  Let's just say, "many shopping trips were made, hundreds of dollars were spent, and we had about18 bags of supplies to deliver!"  

Sam is excited to have his first ever locker

 His teacher, Mrs. Durck

 Abby's locker

 Her teacher, Mrs. Rogers

 Lauren at her desk

 Her teacher, Mrs. Peck

 One of the things on our summer fun list was Fargos Pizza.  This place has been in Colorado Springs for years.  We had never been as a family so we decided to make it a back to school celebration on Sunday night.  We filled a booth.

 The thing that makes this place unique is the the historic decor and design.  The workers dress in old style clothing.  Honestly, I didn't care for the place.  I know some people will be appalled by that.  I couldn't wait to get out of there.  I don't really ever need to go back.  The kids enjoyed, that is what matters.

 The famous player piano

 A final day before school starts breakfast

 On our last day off, we went to see Madagascar 3 in 3D at the dollar theater.  This was the first 3D movie for most of the kids.  They loved it!

 We ended our time using our online deal to Kozy Korner Frozen Yogurt.  

These kids sat in the actual kozy korner.

 Sam and Cody sat elsewhere

 Just a few snacks to go into the snack bucket for school.  

I have found if I package them, the kids can grab them quickly and they will get a proper serving size.  It makes the food last longer and not get wasted.  I will try every trick I can when I am feeding 6 hungry children on a budget!

 It is our family tradition for Rick and I to take the Kindergartener out for a special breakfast at Gunther Toody's on his first day of school.  On Monday, we did that with Isaiah.

 He loved his hot chocolate!

 Next up, Isaiah's Meet and Greet!

 His teacher, Mrs Hoyt

 The picture he drew of himself in his school uniform

 Our family.  That took a while to do.

 At his desk putting away his supplies

 Finally, Tuesday, August 21, the first day of school arrived.  It was a crazy morning.  Everyone was up bright and early.  I made smoothies for breakfast.  Sam found some containers of rotten food in his lunch box from last year.  That was lovely.  The kids have different school starting times so the photo shoots were staggered.

Cody was first.  This is the best I could get out of him.  He is going into 8th grade. He says this is the last year I get to take pictures.  We'll see about that.

I love that their uniforms now include grey shorts/pants and any color polo.

 Next up, Lauren, Abby, and Sam

 Isaiah and Laila didn't want to be left out.

 Lauren is in 6th grade(her last year in elementary0

 Abby is in 4th grade

 Sam is in 3rd grade

 Isaiah goes to afternoon Kindergarten

Laila begins school next week.  I felt so exhausted yesterday.  I think the sickness that I had and the work of shopping for school supplies and school uniforms caught up with me.  Laila and I dropped Isaiah off at school and came home to take a nap.  It was luxurious.  We both needed it.

Then, it was time to pick everyone up.  Let's just say everyone was exhausted.  It. was. not. pretty. on the ride home and throughout the evening.  It is hard to get back into the routine.  Hopefully each day will get a little easier!!